It’s fun revisiting early posts of this blog. Long before I was a full-time RVer. Long before I had any idea what I was getting myself into. Back then, it was all simply pictures in my head of what I thought it would be. And when heading into the unknown, it’s not possible to not imagine worse case scenarios. So many RV fears. Here were mine early on and what I think about them nearly five years later.

As with other revisited posts, everything in purple text is what I have added. The black text is the original post.

Already, in only my first seven posts, I’ve written of my aversion to both risk and change.  So you won’t be surprised to learn that if I allow the thoughts to linger too long in my head,  I could quite easily talk myself out of this big life-change of hitting the road.  There are many RV fears. Why is it that road blocks–the things I fear and that keep me up at night–are so easy to focus on?

Fear is a funny thing isn’t it?  And I’m not talking about physical fear.  That’s an entirely different beast.  Fear is all in your mind, yet fear is strong and tough in a way few things are.  Here is the list of things I’m afraid of.  Then we won’t talk about this again…at least not until I’m on the road and the only movement is forward.

Oh my gosh, post seven. I’m now a few weeks away from number 250!! That’s a lot of posts which represents a lot of weeks gone by. And, if you are wondering, RV life has not made me any less averse to risk and change. Now, though, sometimes I am able to tell myself it’s okay to be afraid of risk and change but it is not a reason to avoid the thing that scares you. Easier said than done, let me tell you.

#1 Biggest RV Fear: I Fear I Will Hate It

My stomach knots even as my fingers prepare to write this.  My single biggest fear is that, after years of planning, preparation, downsizing and thinking of little else, I will hate it.  Can’t really expand on this fear or I might cry.

What can I say? I definitely don’t hate it.

#2 RV Fear: The Noise

Things that go bump in the night.  Like wild things, unsavory people.  When I moved to New York City for college I never thought I’d adjust to the constant noise, no matter the hour.  But I did.  It wasn’t long before I slept through garbage trucks backing up in the middle of the night (and once through a murder that happened outside my dorm window during spring break when almost no one was around).  And, when I moved into my house in Anchorage, I never thought I’d adjust to the whoosh of cars speeding by on one of the main thoroughfares half a block from my house.  But I did.  Now it serves as white noise which I hear and don’t hear all at the same time.  RVing is a transient lifestyle.  Moving every couple weeks means constantly adjusting to the sounds of new surroundings.  So I’m a little scared it will prove difficult to get used to.  Will I ever adjust or will my tendency toward vigilance always be in high gear?

The first day or so at a new location includes hearing everything, waking up in the night. But I’ve gotten used to the constant change and so, within a day or two, I’m adjusted to the noise and activity at the new location. It happened quicker and is much easier than I expected.

#3 Loneliness and Isolation

I’m a homebody and an introvert who feels out of whack if I’m away from home too long.  Still, I find myself afraid of feeling lonely and isolated on the road.

It’s counterintuitive. but life on the road can be quite a social experience. You can purposefully seek out social interaction through RV clubs, as I described with Escapees or the ones for solo RVers. Or, you will meet people in places you stay and find yourself accepting invitations to hikes, meals and adventures. Even as an introvert, I’ve gotten plenty of invitations and, even extended a few myself. After we’ve gone our separate ways, I’ve kept in touch with many people I’ve met as we wait for our paths to cross again.

#4 No Phone Service in an Emergency

What if I’m boondocking in the middle of nowhere with no bars on the phone and no one around.  And what if my tow vehicle breaks down?  Really, what if?  I feel like before heading out I should know the answer to that question and I just don’t.

Well, what I should’ve said here is that my RV fear is that I won’t be the boondocking queen I envision myself to be. That, my friends, is an RV feat that would’ve come true. That’s not to say I still don’t dread the day when I have a break down, a blown tire. Though it hasn’t happened yet. That’s not to say there have been plenty of places while driving where cell phone coverage has been nonexistent. I’m just not as fearful of either happening.

#5 Dog and Cat Won’t Adjust

I have a dog and a cat.  They are both old-ish (9 and 13, respectively) and sometimes I fear they won’t live to go on the road with me.  Or, worse, I fear they will not be able to adjust to our lifestyle.

They lived long enough! And they adjusted. I kind of think they loved RV life. The cat still has not adjusted to actual travel days which always involve multiple rounds of vomiting. (And, yes, I’ve tried every possible thing to help. Nothing does.) But she loves all the new smells at each new place we stop.

Sadly, heartbreakingly, Solstice (dog) was only a road dog for a year and a half before she died just before her 12th birthday. Kitty is a month away from her 18th birthday (which will coincide with the two year anniversary of Solstice’s death). She’s doing well for a very old lady but she won’t be with me much longer.

#6 RV Fear: Driving Will Be Impossible

My brain knows that a lot of people before me have figured out how to drive their rig.  Still, I worry I won’t get the hang of driving a big beast, even if mine is half the size of the biggest ones out there.  What if I’m the only person just too stupid and intimidated to get comfortable pulling a trailer?  Fear is irrational and mental, I know, see paragraph number two.  Still we fear what we fear.

Turns out I wasn’t too stupid or intimidated to figure it out. Turns out driving the beast is actually pretty easy. Getting it hooked up to start the drive? Well, that’s another story. Several years in and I still loath and dread it.

#7 Won’t Find the Perfect Name

I fear I won’t be able to think up a cool name for my trailer.  In fact, I’ll confess it here, it never even occurred to me to name the trailer (or the tow vehicle) until I saw other people had names for theirs.  I briefly thought of Thing 1 and Thing 2 from Dr. Seuss but that’s silly.  When I have the trailer and tow vehicle, I will take suggestions!

The Violet Quill. Now–come on–how cool is that name? Since I started this journey for more time to write, Quill became the perfect name for the trailer. My love of purple, which are the colors of the stripes on the trailer, made Violet the perfect name of the van. So together they are the Violet Quill. Truth be told, Violet was the second runner up for the trailer name.

#8 Fear of Failure

It can be easy to forget, when I focus on the details of the transition that I started on this path to find more hours in the day to write.  Sometimes, I fear that was only something I told myself about myself.  And given the opportunity to prove it, I fear I might fail.  What if I don’t write?  What if I never write that publishable novel?

This one is a mixed bag. One the one hand, I have completed two novels on the road (both during the annual National Novel Writing Month–NaNoWriMo) so that’s something. I’m still working on finding a publisher. I’m not completely discouraged and very recently I stumbled on an idea that I can’t shake which I think means I need to begin a new one soon.

I have no doubt that if I lingered on this question, I would find a bucket’s worth of fears.  But let’s leave it at eight.  That’s plenty.  What about you?  What are your great fears?  Or have you ever made a big change in your life only to discover it was the wrong move?

Links to Relevant Posts:

• The Road Cat: Introducing Kitty
• The Road Dog: Introducing Solstice
• Obituary of a Supersize Dog
• RV Memberships: Escapees
• RV Memberships: Solo Travel
• Introducing My New Oliver Travel Trailer
• My Trailer’s Tow Vehicle: Introducing Violet

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